It is hard to live the life you want when you constantly worry about how you will get there. I want a life that is filled with getting paid for my writing so that I can pursue it full-time. Instead, I work full-time as a pharmacy technician, barely allowing myself to get a word in. I want to finish my novel and create more beautiful poetry to blow my audience away, but instead, I worry constantly about a job where I am just a number. One thing I’ve learned from working for a corporate company for the last 4 years is that they don’t care about their employees. The only thing they want is for their numbers to be wonderful so that they make more money. But as they are making an astronomical amount of money, their employees are struggling to pay for gas, rent, or put food on the table because they aren’t being paid enough for their dedication and hard work. But corporate companies don’t care about that. Just as long as the work is getting done, they don’t care how or who is doing it. 

But if this is all true, which is it, then why am I still here? Why am I working over 40 hours a week in a job that doesn’t see me for my full potential?  I find myself wondering that same thought as I sit here typing this with my cat curled up on my arm. I am still here because no other company, big or small, will give me a chance. And I know I’ve written this before, but it sucks that if you don’t have any experience at a company in your desired field, you are never even looked at, not even a glance. You might as well crawl on the floor next to that unwanted dust on your baseboards because that is how the entire job world sees you. At least, that’s how I picture it.